When You Love Someone
by Felgia Starr
Summary: Ron wants to explore other options. Based on Donell Jones's Where I Wanna Be.


**When You Love Someone**

 _Ron wants to explore other options. Based on Donell Jones's Where I Wanna Be._

 **. . .**

It wasn't like he didn't love her – he did, he truly did – but, they've been together since they were teenagers and he felt like he needed something new. Hermione was a gem, any guy would be lucky to have her as a partner. She was caring, she told him whenever she felt like he was wrong, she pointed out his mistakes, and she loved him. She didn't do anything wrong at all, she was not the reason why he was contemplating to do this. Ron just wanted to broaden his experience, he'd been with only Hermione in terms of sex after all. And she was great at that, too, pleasing him, but Ron found that he got plenty of lust inside him. Lust for other women, men – people in general. She probably would not understand and cry, but Ron would rather be alone.

He knew that if he let this go on, he would end up cheating on her – and that was what he didn't want. He'd rather leave than cheat on her, he knew she didn't deserve to be hurt like that. Sure, she would also be hurt when he breaks up with her, but at least she wouldn't feel betrayed. Maybe, they could be better as friends.

Ron didn't want to make her cry though, just imagining it was painful. What if she couldn't move on? What if she hurts herself? But… what if Ron ended up cheating on her? Should he stay? Should he leave? He loved her so much, he'd been friends with her since they were in first year – they went through a _lot_ , but Ron just needed some time alone. Time to think of where he wanted to be. Maybe, someday he could change and maybe they could get back together. Maybe they could go on separate ways forever.

What the fuck was lust anyway? Why did he have to feel it for other people and not Hermione? He needed to first understand his own sexuality. Yes, sometimes he was attracted to men as well. What would happen if he decided to stay with Hermione and he only figured out what he wanted after marriage? Cheating on Hermione was not an option! He absolutely refused to even think about it. He didn't want to hurt her, at all! He just... felt so selfish by leaving her just to be with others. Was that wrong? Merlin, he didn't know anymore. Maybe he should just _Obliviate_ himself and make himself forget about those stupid fucking urges. Maybe he should just stop looking at other people. Would that work? Fuck.

What would people think of him after he did break up with Hermione? They would probably think he was crazy. What kind of imbecile would break up with the perfect woman? What would people think of him if he cheated on her? They would probably think he was crazy also. What kind of an idiot would cheat on the perfect woman? A woman who he did not deserve at all. A woman who had it all – except for a boyfriend that would not hurt her.

Both options will hurt her anyway. If he stayed, he would cheat, she would cry. If he left, he would be with others, she would cry. She would be in pain because of him. He should be _protecting_ her from pain, not causing it.

But, perhaps, he was not giving Hermione her credit. She was a strong woman, after all. She was wanted by every single, straight male. Maybe she would even move on faster than him. And he would be happy if that happened. He would be glad that she finally found a happy ending. If that weren't that case, then he was still torn.

But… leaving her would cause a little less pain compared to cheating on her. And if he chose to break up with her, he should just straight-up do it. Hermione wasn't very patient, she didn't like dishonesty either so, he should tell her why he was going to leave. He should ask her about her opinions, he should try his hardest to avoid hurting her.

What the fuck was he going to do?

 **. . .**

Here he was now, legs shaking, palms sweaty, sitting on the couch in her flat, waiting for her to come out of the bathroom.

When he arrived here by Floo, Hermione was taking a shower. He told her that he needed to confess something to her. She responded by shouting back, 'okay.'

He decided what he was going to do earlier today. And he was going to take action immediately.

Ron remembered something his mum said when he accidentally hurt Ginny back when he was a child. She strangely did not go berserk on him. She just seated him down and asked him about it. He told her he was sorry and that he loved Ginny. His mum said that 'when you love someone, you don't treat them badly.' She said that it was okay and that accidents happen all the time but that he should never hurt someone he truly loved intentionally.

He wasn't going to treat Hermione like shit, no. She deserved the truth and he'll give her the truth.

Just as he thought of that, he heard the door to the bathroom open and from there, walked out Hermione, fully-clothed with a towel wrapped around her hair.

She plopped down in the couch, next to him.

"So, what did you want to talk about?"

And with those words, his nerves came flooding back in.

"I-I…."

He cleared his throat awkwardly and tried again. "I j-just er..."

And again. "N-nee… er…"

And again. "I-I, I-I – "

She cut him off, obviously annoyed with his stammering. "Stop that, Ron! Just tell me!"

She was not a patient woman, after all.

"I-I…" He glanced down at his shoes. "We should break up."

Silence followed. He didn't dare to look at her, afraid that the hurt look on there would haunt him.

"Why?" She finally gathered enough courage to speak up.

Ron sighed. Here comes the hard part.

"We… we've just been together for so long and…" he paused. "And I feel like you deserve someone better than me. And I… want to explore other options. And I do love you – like crazy, more than I'll ever love other women, probably, but I've been feeling desire for other women… and men."

A sniffling sound finally made him look at her. Oh, did she look beautiful. Freshly showered, flushed face, and tears falling down her cheeks. If he were a painter, she would definitely the inspiration for many paintings. Though, that hurt look in her eyes could never be replicated by a brush because damn, it hurt him too.

"I-I'm sorry, Hermione," he glanced down and back up again. "I need – fuck – I'm sorry."

He tried to reach for her, to hug her, anything to make her feel somewhat better but she roughly pushed him away.

"Get out, please." She softly uttered, her voice wavering with emotion.

She must be angry and hurt. Ron knew to let angry and hurt people alone. She would probably stay in her flat for a few days, mulling over their relationship. When she gets out, Ron swore to talk and approach her again. To ask her how she felt, to ask her how she's been. It was only right.

As soon as he Floo'ed back home, the tears fell from his eyes, too.


End file.
